Ask Amy: My friend’s erratic driving is stressing me out

Ask Amy: My friend’s erratic driving is stressing me out

 Dear Amy How do I tell my best friends that I do not want to go anywhere with her if she insists on driving?

   Mildred and I was best friend as children.

   We went our separate ways after high school, but kept in touch over the years.

   I retired last year at the age of 65 and moved back to my hometown, where she also lives.

   I quickly realized that his driving scared me.  She couldn't hold the steering wheel steady, and kept turning the car from side to side, just enough to sway us.

   Also, although the cruise control is not suitable for use in traffic, she uses it, constantly accelerating and decelerating while trying to maintain her speed.

   I get so angry when we get to our destination, I'm a nervous wreck!

   I tried to politely ask her to drive me and she got upset.

   I don't want this to affect our friendship, but I'm at my wits end and I think if I tell her the truth, it will hurt her feelings.

   Helping!

   - Scared

   Dear Panic: There are about 45 million American senior drivers -- and that number is growing -- as boomers age and seniors age, and most want to continue driving.

   I bring this up because there's a chance that when you encounter "Mildred" on the road, the other drivers are also older and probably have slower reaction times for their swerves and unexpected braking.

   Or they themselves are short, aggressive and careless.

   If you are physically weak, even a slight fender bender where the airbag deploys can be dangerous.

   You can tell her, Mildred I get nervous when I drive with you now. I enjoy driving when we go out, but if you don't want me to drive, I'll let you drive."  See you here.  My destination."

   Framing it this way lets both of you know that your feelings are just as important as his.

   Dear Amy: My husband recently passed away and I am following his wishes without a funeral service.  I am  fine with that  but apparently his family is not.

   His family had asked what is my plan.  I was not there when they brought up the matter with my adult son.  We plan something later, he told them.

   Wish it was more direct.  I plan on celebrating life this fall.  It's going to be an informal one, and I hope it's well attended.

   His family might not be happy about it, but it will keep costs down.

   I know this topic will come up again, so I have to stand firm and say it is my husband's wish.

   I feel bad for his family because I don't think they are getting the love they need.  I do not know how to handle it except to tell him that I am following my husband's wishes.

   - Sad wife

   Dear Bereaved: It is not your responsibility to provide the preferred method of closure for your late husband's family.

   It is your responsibility to respect his wishes and take care of yourself right now.

   Plan your celebration, tell your in-laws, answer some of their questions, and move on.

   Dear Amy: In reply to "loving, but sad daughter" you wrote: "[Your father's] Wikipedia entry should be corrected. You can edit it yourself..."

   That's not quite right.  Wikipedia tries to discourage people from editing articles about their close relatives, for example, it's hard to be objective and neutral when writing about your father.

   The rules on that can be complicated;  Basically he has to submit an edit request on the Wikipedia article talk page and wait for a non-volunteer editor to do the actual work.

   People need to share reliable sources, such as newspaper or magazine articles that verify the information.

   Dear Volunteer: The "loving, but sad daughter" was worried because after her father's death, she noticed that both her will and her Wikipedia entry omitted her mother's existence, leading to the false impression that she was her mother.  The father was  Daughter of his second wife.

   I've heard from many volunteer editors on Wikipedia about the need to get all the information right.